mydeadhorsenow

Did you know Doc Johnson, the guy who wrote the first English dictionary, was a fierce boxer? His uncle was an accomplished boxer in his own right and taught him as a kid. The word ‘box’ comes from the fact that the closed fist is a box made from the fingers, but boxing back then wasn’t just punching with the closed fist. Modern boxing is the result of rich, spoiled aristocrats not wanting to get their faces wrecked while getting in on that sweet science action. So back then, there was kicking, clubbing (hammering with the bottom of the fist), sweeps, and throws.

He was tall in an age of malnourished and tiny men, rotund, and muscular, so imagine a bear that knows karate. I read that one time Johnson was walking home from a tavern and was jumped by 4 muggers. He beat them so badly that when the constables showed up, they tried to arrest Johnson until they figured out who had attacked whom.

A Koan makes no logical sense and is supposed to short-circuit your brain and provoke enlightenment. For a moment, your whole being isn’t and it’s like your head exploded.
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So anyway, I walked up to the wash basin in the bathroom to wash my hands after taking care of some bodily functions. There are certain expectations of what’s going to happen someone uses the facilities: they walk out without washing hands, they do a poor job washing hands, or they actually use soap to wash hands. So this guy walks up to the washbasin, turns on the water, then scoops up water into his mouth and swishes it around. No soap, no rubbing hands under the water action, just did his business and then slurped water out of his freaking hand. Who does that?

I was thinking about one of Luke Skywalker’s lines the other day…

“Watch that crossfire, boys!”

You were literally dusting crops a week ago, son. What the Hell business do you have telling anybody to watch that crossfire?

When I was little, ninjas were cool.  They could leap like super far, climb walls, hypnotize people, go invisible, and throw ninja stars through steel plates.  Then I grew up and realized that there is nothing special about ninjas.  They aren’t supernatural or more determined than anyone else caught in desperate straights.  See Judith killing Holofernes while he’s asleep, then sneaking off with the head.  That’s more ninja than ninja.

So now let’s steal the word ninja and let it mean anything hyped to more than it is because it’s exotic.  Acai berries are ninja.  They are exotic super berries from the Amazon!  No, they’re fancy blueberries.  Their is nothing wrong with them; I’m not laughing at you if you like to eat them.  Just pointing out that eating blueberries will give you the exact same health benefits, but not the same ‘ninja magic’.

In ‘Shaolin Soccer’, Team Evil, the antagonist soccer team, were given the latest performance-enhancing drugs from America to give them super soccer powers to match the Kung Fu powers of the protagonist team.  Watching that scene gave me that weird sense of inversion realizing that what is just everyday to me (the performance enhancement arms race of dirty cheating) becomes ‘ninja’  to them.